The cow had no idea how long she had been asleep but she knew that she felt a lot better for it. She had been under an incredible amount of stress recently what with the house move and the incredible pain in her udders which, she was relieved to find had drained out of their own accord whilst she was sleeping.
She got back to her feet and looked down at herself. She was shocked to see that she was an odd colour. Black and white. She leaned over and looked between her legs.
“What the hell are those things?” she thought with great panic at the sight of her udders.
She licked her lips and saw that two bowls were lay out in front of her, one filled with water, one with grass. She had a big slurp of water and chewed on some grass, but she was craving something else, something sweeter. She was craving something that came in small cubes. A lump of something. Sugar, perhaps?
Sugar. She wanted a lump of sugar.
She also quite fancied someone sitting on her back and taking her for a lovely walk. That sounded brilliant.
She reared up on her hind legs and kicked her front legs around for no reason other than she felt like it. Then she blew air through her lips, making them vibrate. It tickled so she laughed, and an odd noise came out. If she was to write it down she would spell it ‘moo’.
A very odd noise indeed, for a horse.
She looked down between her legs again. Those things were most troubling, and they were very much in the way.
She decided that she would go for something she instinctively called a ‘gallop’ for a while and then she would simply have to do something about that thing stuck in between her legs.