My wife gave me half an apple as a lunchtime snack two years ago. Here is what I think about it now.

Two years ago my wife went through a very brief phase of making lunches for me to take to work.

I can’t say I’ve ever been bothered about anyone making me lunch before. It’s my lunch, I should make it myself. Who else would make my lunch but me?

I am not as stupid as I look, act, or sound however. So when my wife decided she was going to start making my lunches, I did exactly what my mother spent 21 years telling me to do - I shut the fuck up.

Until, that is, the day of the half apple.

I’m not saying we’re rich. We aren’t. Of course we aren’t. But I think we can about stretch to a full apple.